To be a friend or lover who love each other, may not be so difficult for married couples. But to be a successful parent, requires the ability to manage relationships of cooperation and equality are compact, which is often very difficult and requires special treatment. Because the child is present in the lives of married couples.
The husband and wife must work extra hard to be a parent compact. Different backgrounds and attitudes will affect the nature of the couple applied parenting. Each pair will “claim” they are the best parenting.
The difference is when not communicated properly, it will cause serious problems for the relationship of husband and wife, or their relationships with children. Moreover, nowadays more and more wives into the labor force as the mainstay of the family or just to support their husbands.
This condition is certainly “require ‘the wise man accepts the conditions. Even if you have a husband to take time off to look after children in the house, into the kitchen and washing machine, when the wife of traveling out of town for a business office. Course of life as is in the middle eastern values that promote the culture of patriarchy, can bear conflicts openly or concealed for married couples.
So, how best to deal with the problems caused by the ‘difference’ and the nature of the role is and how the family they could build a compact and become “successful parents”? Darlene Powell Hopson Ph.D., and Derek S Hopson Ph.D. , trying to give you the recipe through meaningful sentences in their book “Toward Family Compact: 8 Principles of Successful Parents Become ‘. Both are clinical psychologist who heads the Center for Psychologycal Hopson and Educational Services in Connecticut, USA.
First Principle: Making peace with the past. “I feel peaceful and resigned to knowing that the past does not control me. Every day I have a new opportunity to connect in a loving way with children and my family.”
The second principle: Make peace with your partner. “I accept my partner as it is. We do not necessarily have to agree in order to be a good team. I will show my gratitude to my partner and learn to foster mutual relations”.
The third principle: Two-way communication. “I will express my feelings openly, clearly and directly while still respecting my partner. Because I believe in this way encourage honest dialogue, meaningful and positive in my family.”
The fourth principle: getting comfortable with your immediate environment. “The environment I needed extra support my family in the struggle for life”.
The fifth principle: Direct your child’s behavior. “I’ll be clear, firm and consistent expressed my expectations when directing children’s behavior. Yet the kids still feel a sense of voice and choice”.
Sixth Principle: Maintaining a relationship of brotherhood. “I would love all my kids as individuals, and I will take the time to tell them that I appreciate their interest.”
Principle Seven: The influence of peers. “Take the time to get to know my children’s friends are important to me., And I will improve my relationship with the kids”.
Principle Eight: Time to spirituality and joy. “I will spend some time each day for joy, through smiles, tingling and spirituality that will foster our love”.
The eight principles set out two clinical psychologists, of course, be one of the basic building family resilience. If the resistance in the family can be built so solid, undoubtedly concerned families will more easily create quality, family prosper.